doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
