Why does Corona taste like a burp?
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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