Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
