Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
You have to summon your inner elephant
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
