she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
