did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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