Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
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