just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize