She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
