He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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