I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
areolas are like halos for boobs.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
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