just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
