I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
