Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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