I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
