is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
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