i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
