you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
