I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
im drinking this country out of the recession.
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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