i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Is it because I queefed?
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
