Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize