i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize
