Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
