Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Randomize
