The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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