I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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