they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Randomize
