The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
