talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
I'm jealous of your bromance
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Randomize
