I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Randomize
