I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
