Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
