Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
a search helicopter?!
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
