tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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