Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
I queefed so loud it echoed.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Pants are for mortals
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
