I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
