Dual....:-)
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
