whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
