im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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