I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
