Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Randomize
