I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
