did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
