All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Randomize
