I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Randomize
