So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Randomize
