when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Randomize
