You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Randomize
