You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
