I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
